At the opposite end of the wheeling-and-dealing spectrum is former Met pitcher Jerry Dipoto. Dipoto’s made 35 trades since taking over as Mariners general manager just 15 months ago. By contrast, during that time Alderson’s acquired only five players (that is, not PTBNL or cash) in trades: Jon Niese for Neil Walker; Akeel Morris for Kelly Johnson; Antonio Bastardo for Jon Niese; Dilson Herrera for Jay Bruce; and Erik Manoah for Fernando Salas. There’s probably a happy medium between five deals and 35. We’re going to thread that needle. Here, in the baseball purgatory that is January, we speculate on the quality and quantity of trades Dipoto would make if given the keys to the Mets’ roster. — Scott D. Simon (@scottdsimon)

Dipoto Deals For Character

Mets acquire RHP Hunter Strickland and UT-S Jimmy Rollins from San Francisco Giants for OF-L Jay Bruce, UT-S Jose Reyes, RHP Rafael Montero and $5 million.

Mets acquire OF-R Andrew McCutchen and $5 million from Pittsburgh Pirates for OF-L Michael Conforto, RHP Jeurys Familia, and UT-R Gavin Cecchini.

The Giants need a left fielder. Their current depth chart at the position lists Mac Williamson, Jarrett Parker and Gorkys Hernandez, who combine for a career WARP of 1.2. We know the Mets can’t move Jay Bruce at his $13 million salary for anything of value. Throwing in Sacks O’Cash and Jose Reyes, a potential +1 WARP switch-hitting utility guy making the league minimum, however, could bring back a short reliever with dominant stuff (if not results), and a much older utility guy on a minor-league invite. Especially if the Mets pay down a portion of Bruce’s salary. Montero might or might not ever become a big-leaguer, but it surely won’t happen in New York.

From all appearances, Michael Conforto has no place in New York either. Between the Mets re-signing Cespedes and picking up Bruce’s option, team brass has shown no desire to give their former first-round draft pick an unobstructed path to playing time. The Pirates have expressed ongoing interest in moving their franchise player. So why not flip Conforto, an All-Star capital-C Closer, and the Mets’ number-9 prospect (another former first-round pick) for a win-now outfielder whose declining range in the pasture is still probably better than that of Cespedes or erstwhile center fielder Curtis Granderson? Familia is by no means expendable, but with Strickland in the fold, his replacement is already in-house. Play with the cash coming back from Pittsburgh if you feel one side’s getting the better end of the bargain.

Do these deals make the Mets a better team? If we’re talking solely about on-field performance: Maybe! That’s the essence of a Dipoto trade diptych, after all. Indisputably, though, the deals make the Mets a better team to root for. There’s nothing like exchanging two accused domestic violence offenders for Roberto Clemente Award winners. Between Granderson, McCutchen and Rollins, the Mets would have the last three recipients of the honor given to the player who best represents the game of baseball through sportsmanship, community involvement and positive contributions, both on and off the field. Who says there’s no such thing as team chemistry? — Scott D. Simon (@scottdsimon)

Dipoto Chooses his Chasen

Mets acquire LHP Chasen Shreve from Yankees for RHP Chasen Bradford.

It was an opportunity that Jerry just couldn’t pass up. There are only three Chasens in MLB history and two of them played in New York, so relocation wouldn’t be a problem for the Yankee. The third Chasen had the boorish manners of a Yalie. No time for that.

Jerry had to make the move, even if it was just a reliever-for-reliever swap. How could he turn down this opportunity? The Mets hired him for a reason. He was Chasen history. — Andrew Mearns (@MearnsPSA)

Dipoto Nabs Nate

Mets acquire RHP Nate Jones from White Sox for RHP Jeurys Familia and OF-L Brandon Nimmo.

It would benefit the Mets to move on from Jeurys Familia, and not just because of the domestic abuse allegations. For a team on the Wild Card bubble, every win matters, and Familia is likely to miss dozens of games at the start of the season. And he’s expensive.

So let’s swap him out to the White Sox for their cheaper, older, slightly inferior reliever in Nate Jones. The Sox can afford to wait until Familia comes back, then flip him to a contender for a sizable prospect haul. As a reward, they get Brandon Nimmo, who actually ends up their Opening Day center fielder. –Bryan Grosnick (@bgrosnick)

Dipoto Unites with Yusmeiro and Signs Smith

Mets sign free agent RHPs Yusmeiro Petit and Joe Smith

One thing the New York Mets definitely know is that you can never have too many (relief) pitchers. Joe Smith is most remembered for his weird arm angle positioned somewhere between side-arm and submarine. The Mets traded him away back in 2008 for JJ Putz, who ended up being a putz (Yiddish for worthless person) during his one-year tenure as a member of the Mets. But Joe Smith went on to be successful with the Indians, Angels and Cubs, having pitched more than 70 games in five of the past six seasons. He would be able to eat some innings in case the Mets don’t want the young starting rotation going late into the game.

Yusmeiro Petit never actually pitched for the New York Mets but instead was traded as a prospect in the Carlos Delgado deal. He can serve as a long reliever or a spot-starter when the Mets want to give their starters an extra day of rest. Since being traded from the Mets he has played for the Marlins, Diamondbacks, Giants and Nationals as well as a short stint in the Mexican League. His career is most remembered for retiring 46 batters in a row in 2014. Mets fans are desperate for a move. While this wouldn’t fulfill desparate Jay Bruce trade fantasies, it would at least make Mets fans content knowing they have a few more relief options, especially when Familia starts the season suspended. — Seth Rubin (@sethrubin)

Dipoto Flips Franchises

Mets acquire Chain-L In-N-Out Burger from West Coast for Chain-R Shake Shack.

Last year Shake Shack moved out west, opening five Los Angeles area locations to complement their better known home in the northeast, including at Citi Field. We know Jerry Dipoto loves cross-country trades, and I don’t think he would stop with the players. Dipoto was a GM in Southern California for years, and SoCal hamburger eaters swear by In-N-Out. If Dipoto went east, he’d probably swap Citi Field’s Shake Shack for an In-N-Out because the family-owned business won’t expand to the East Coast by choice.

What better way to go down as the king of lateral moves than flipping one regional hamburger franchise for another? It won’t be long before fans start sharing In-N-Out’s secret menu on the train coming to and from the game! — Noah Grand (@noahgrand)

Dipoto Requires Respect

Mets acquire OF-L Colby Rasmus for OF-R Juan Lagares

Scrolling through baseball Twitter, Jerry Dipoto was appalled that he wasn’t the talk of the tweets. Instead, the confusing moves made by the Tampa Bay Rays drew the wonder and ire of commentators, and Jerry couldn’t stand for that. The Rays would not be the only team making ineffective, quasi-useless moves this offseason.

So he did what Dipoto does best: he traded inconsistent outfielder Juan Lagares for declining outfielder Colby Rasmus, a recent Rays pickup, and looked quite satisfied with himself. In his trading frenzy he was unaware that he allowed the Rays to once again make a befuddling move, and his pride was so great in this action that he sent a note to the Rays front office: I am the one who trades. — Brian Duricy (@briansusername_)

Dipoto Sends Himself

Mets acquire GM-R Jerry Dipoto from Mariners for future considerations.

Dipoto swayed softly in his ergonomic chair – the same model he had purchased for the entire front office. “Office comfort is the new market inefficiency,” he said at the time. He didn’t know if he still believed it. He didn’t know what he believed anymore.

The coffee on his desk had long since grown cold. He eyed the bourbon on his shelf for warmth instead. “No,” he decided after letting his eyes linger a moment longer. Last time he touched the stuff he woke up with a nine-figure bill for Josh Hamilton. He needed something, though. “Another speedy outfielder, of course. Probably a LOOGY or two, maybe a…” – his thoughts trailed off. It wouldn’t be enough. It never was. He needed more. Seattle wasn’t enough, he wanted to be a bigger star than a Beane or Epstein. He couldn’t do that in Seattle. “But where?” He did not know where the next thought came from – destiny, perhaps – but it was vivid. A third horse. A third amigo. Dipoto, Thor, and Yo. He thumbed down to “Alderson” in his phone… — Brock Chenier (@BrockChenier)

Photo Credit: Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Daniel Murphy

You know what you can never have enough of? Well, dingers, for one. Starting pitching, definitely. What else? Infield depth, of course! Sure, Wilmer Flores looks like the second coming of Joe Morgan at the plate and Neil Walker continually proves the inverse of his surname and perhaps some day Lucas Duda will grace us again with his presence. But what the Mets could use right about now is a versatile infielder who can rake. Murphy might not hang on to win a batting title this season but that .346 TAv would sure look nice batting in front of Yoenis Cespedes. With third base likely an open question for some time to come, sticking Murph at the hot corner — even with his, uh, suboptimal defense at times — would solve a lot more problems than it causes. — Erik Malinowski (@erikmal)

Michael Fulmer

As the Mets’ rotation runs into midseason injury woes, it’s time for the team to once again turn to a young fireballer waiting in the minors with solid command and a plus slider. Everybody give a warm New York welcome to Michael Fulm– Wait, they traded him? Welp.

Yes, it’s true, the seemingly endless pipeline of top-of-the-rotation pitching talent ran dry for the Mets when they sent Michael Fulmer to the Tigers last season for Yoenis Cespedes, in what might be the closet thing to a true win-win trade the league has seen in a decade. But as the Mets scramble to plug Logan Verrett into the injured Matt Harvey’s rotation spot, it’s awfully hard not to look toward Motown at Fulmer’s 2.11 ERA (2.95 DRA) and 2.2 WARP and not think, “Sure would be nice to have one of those.” — Maggie Wiggin (@maggie162)

Yusmeiro Petit

Now, Yusmeiro Petit never actually pitched for the major-league Mets. He, along with Mike Jacobs, was shipped to the Marlins in 2005 for Carlos Delgado in one of the better trades of Omar Minaya’s tenure. Petit bounced around between Miami, Arizona, Seattle, and the Mexican League, starting and relieving, before re-emerging with the Giants as a successful swingman and eventual playoff hero. He was a viable free agent target for the Mets even last offseason, as he is better-suited to the Logan Verrett role than Logan Verrett. And the Mets could really use another arm right about now — as you may have heard. Prying him from a division rival with bullpen issues of their own is a non-starter, but 23-year-old Jeffrey, who started writing about prospects because of Petit’s 2005 season, would like nothing more than a reunion. And heck, 34-year-old Jeffrey just sat through Logan Verrett’s last start. A reunion sounds pretty good to him, too. — Jeffrey Paternostro (@jeffpaternostro)

Justin Turner

Pure fortune brought the righty-swinging Turner to the Mets in the first place. A seventh-round pick by the Reds in 2006, he was dealt to the Orioles in a 2008 deal for Ramon Hernandez, and the Mets were able to pick him up off waivers in May 2010. The ginger became a regular in the Mets’ clubhouse early in 2011 and held his own against MLB pitching over the next three years, batting .265/.326/.370 with a .261 TAv in his age-25 to -28 seasons. He was a very useful player capable of appearing all around the infield and certainly could have filled at least a bench role on any team.

However, after the 2013 season, the Mets surprisingly decided to non-tender Turner, declining to even give him the pedestrian $800,000 he likely would have earned in 2014. There were even whispers that the decision was based on a perceived lack of hustle. Turner ended up with the Dodgers and suddenly broke out in 2014 with a .340/.404/.493 triple slash in 109 games.

The Mets looked like complete fools for letting him go at basically no cost, and the wildling has maintained terrific numbers in LA. He is already on his way to a career-high in homers in 2016. Turner would have been helpful to have around, particularly with David Wright’s career seemingly stumbling to an injury-ravaged conclusion. Whoops. — Andrew Mearns (@MearnsPSA)

Oliver Perez

Call me a masochist, but I would enjoy Oliver Perez coming back to the team. During his last two years with the Mets, Perez was an absolute disaster; putting up ERAs of 6.82 (2009) and 6.80 (2010). This, combined with his bloated contract and unwillingness to accept a demotion to the minor leagues, made him one of the most hated players in Mets history. However, it seems like Ollie is more of a goofball than a bad guy. Maybe he was a little selfish, but I think that is the worst you can say about him. Also, since he’s left the Mets, he has been a pretty effective reliever. The main reason I would like the Mets to bring him back is just, I mean, how funny would that be? — Tyler Plofker (@TylerPlofker)

Carlos Beltran

Some Mets fans think about Carlos Beltran and they can’t shake the sight of him taking an Adam Wainwright curveball for strike three. There’s a reason some fans #BlameBeltran instead of #BlameReyes, even after both players left in 2011. I’ve always seen Beltran as a hitter whose on-base skills and power led to 32.6 wins above replacement. Beltran is still a valuable player with a .303 True Average and 1.4 wins above replacement in 2016. The Yankees aren’t going anywhere this season and will look to trade the veteran for one last playoff run. Terry Collins keeps playing Alejandro De Aza on a regular basis, even though De Aza has been a below-replacement player. Let’s bring back Beltran! Maybe this year he will hammer at a hanging curveball from Jonathan Papelbon to give the Mets the division title and end the #BlameBeltran meme for good. — Noah Grand (@noahgrand)

Darren O’Day

Recent New York Mets teams have struggled to find a reliable relief pitcher, forcing them to make trades or sign free agents to fill out the bullpen. While Addison Reed has been a successful example (after the Mets traded for him and subsequently re-signed him to a one-year deal), the Mets could still use another relief pitcher. The perfect player for that role would be Darren O’Day, a submarine-style reliever for the Baltimore Orioles and 2015 All-Star. Despite his low release point, O’Day has been successful against lefties, allowing a batting average against of only .235. He’s been even better against righties, with a batting average-against of .195. In addition, O’Day is an above-average reliever across the board in terms of FIP, strikeout rate and walk rate, making him the perfect long-term option for the Mets bullpen.  O’Day, the perfectcandidate for the Mets bullpen (or any bullpen for that matter) was a New York Met in 2008 for 2 weeks, when the team selected him in the Rule 5 Draft. Unfortunately, the Mets released him and the Texas Rangers grabbed him. Since then, the Mets have subsequently struggled to find a long-term solution to their bullpen woes.  — Seth Rubin (@sethrubin)

Joe Smith

Pretty much everything Seth wrote about Darren O’Day applies to Joe Smith. Except that the Orioles are in first place in the A.L. East and aren’t going to move their $7 million reliever. But the Angels are 14 games under .500 and should be selling everything that’s not bolted down. Smith is a free agent at year’s end, so Los Angeles of Anaheim might well make him available.

The Mets drafted Smith and promoted him in 2007, when he was just 23 years old. Smith pitched to a 3.51 ERA out of the bullpen in his two Mets seasons, but his 5.20 DRA in 2008 was less promising. After the 2008 season, the Mets dealt Smith (and Endy Chavez!) as part of a massive three-team deal, by which the Mets acquired J.J. Putz from the Mariners. Putz was awful in his one Mets season, walking as many batters per nine innings as he struck out and suffering with a 5.40 DRA. The Mets let Putz go at season’s end, after which he threw five seasons with a 2.81 ERA, mostly for the Diamondbacks. Meanwhile, Smith has a 2.86 ERA in his eight seasons since leaving Queens. It’s not easy to build a good bullpen. — Scott D. Simon (@scottdsimon)

Photo Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports