Photo credit: Tim Heitman – USA Today Sports

Collins has been tight-lipped about the team’s cavalcade of injuries in recent days, and it’s unclear when and where we’ll see the return of Jay Bruce, or any those off on rehab assignments. But whoever the heck is in the lineup is headed to Pittsburgh’s PNC Park for three night games against the Pirates (22-26). That is, if it doesn’t all get rained out; the forecast calls for rain today and thunderstorms tomorrow and Sunday in Steel City.

On the mound it’s a battle of the righties, a pitching lineup that bodes well in playing time for the Mets’ star (only?) hitter Michael Conforto. Though he struggled Thursday night, he’s by far the club’s best bat with Cespedes gone, slashing .341/.437/.712 this season.

Meanwhile, rumors are flying about Pittsburgh’s ace Gerrit Cole, who the Yankees reportedly have their eye on for a trade. He’ll pitch Saturday against Zack Wheeler.

When and Where

Game 1: 7:05 p.m. EST (TV: SNY, MLB Network; RADIO: 710 WOR, ESPN Deportes)

Game 2: 7:15 p.m. EST (TV: FOX; RADIO: 710 WOR, ESPN Deportes)

Game 3: 8:00 p.m. EST (TV: ESPN; RADIO: 710 WOR, ESPN Deportes)

Baseball Weather

Friday:  Cloudy with a high of 70F and 10-15 MPH winds (55% chance of rain)

Saturday: Cloudy with a high around 74F and 5-10 MPH winds (21% chance of rain)

Sunday: Mostly cloudy with a high around 79F and 5-10 MPH winds (60% chance of rain)

Probable Pitching Matchups

Friday: RHP Jacob deGrom (3-1, 3.56 ERA, 2.02 DRA, .245 TAv, 2.2 WARP) vs. RHP Chad Kuhl (1-4, 5.85 ERA, 4.00 DRA, .290 TAv, 0.7 WARP)

deGrom was a late scratch on Thursday due to threat of a rain delay (a considerable silver lining for the Mets’ chances this weekend, given the original probable pitcher lineup release featured Giant Question Mark as Saturday’s starter.) deGrom, who pitched 7 shutout innings in his last outing, will take on 24-year-old Kuhl, who has struggled so far this season, his second in the majors.

Saturday: RHP Zack Wheeler (3-2, 3.74 ERA, 4.87 DRA, .243 TAv, 0.3 WARP) vs. RHP Gerrit Cole (2-5, 3.36 ERA, 3.57 DRA, .250 TAv, 1.3 WARP)

Wheeler, fresh off some extra days of rest in the rotation (one per his request, one from Thursday’s deGrom sub) will make his first career start at PNC, while Cole, the most formidable of Pittsburgh’s pitchers in the series, is coming off his worst outing of the year, having given up 10 hits in 4.2 innings to the Braves on Monday.

Sunday: RHP Matt Harvey (3-3, 5.36 ERA, 4.64 DRA, .284 TAv, 0.5 WARP) vs. Tyler Glasnow (3-2, 6.69 ERA, 8.86 DRA, .335 TAv, -1.6 WARP)

Assuming Harvey remembers to come to work, he’ll have to keep a particular eye out for Pittsburgh’s Josh Harrison, who has batted .667 against him over the course of Harvey’s career, albeit a small sample.

Though Glasnow’s ERA is even more unsightly than Harvey’s, he’s sporting more Ks than the Dark Knight—41 over 40.1 innings. We’ll see which stuff they both bring on Sunday.

Who’s Hot?

Mets 1B Lucas Duda (1 HR and 2 RBI Thursday against the Padres)

Mets OF Michael Conforto (he was 0-4 Thursday, but still batting over .400 with 10 hits in last 7 games)

Pirates C Francisco Cervelli (4 hits Thursday against the Braves, slashing .429/.478/.476 in last 7 games)

Pirates SS Jordy Mercer (back-to-back HR Tuesday and Wednesday, SLG .727 in last 7 games)

Pirates 2B Adam Frazier (back-to-back HR Wednesday and Thursday, SLG .682 in last 7 games)

Who’s Not?

Mets with runners in scoring position

Pirates CF Andrew McCutchen (Slashing .091/.167/.091 in his last six games, Pirates faithful fear McCutchen has hit “rock bottom”)

Pirates RHP Gerrit Cole (melted down in his last outing on Monday)

When We Last Met

Mets took two out of three at home last June, scoring 17 runs

It’s Literally a 10-Day DL

Mets RHP Steven Matz may’ve originally been the reason for the question mark in Saturday’s lineup, but he’ll now make at least one more start in Triple-A Las Vegas. Meanwhile, it’s likely RHP Seth Lugo will have a longer rehab stint after giving up seven runs in three innings in his second start with High-A St. Lucie, while Cespedes will be moving into the “next phase of his rehab” this weekend.

Notable Quotables

“I’m not at liberty to discuss any injury situation. He’s in there when he’s in there.” – Terry Collins Wednesday night after Jay Bruce left the game due to lower back tightness

“On base five times, man. Doesn’t happen very often, not even in Little League.”— Pirates manager Clint Hurdle, on the Braves’ Ender Inciarte going 5 for 5 in the series opener

Photo credit: Charles LeClaire – USA Today Sports

Unfortunately, given the state of the team’s collective health, there may be more like it on the horizon. Beyond “it’s still early in the season,” there’s really little else to say to ease the burn. So instead I thought I’d aim for catharsis, compile some Mets moments even worse than (okay, or maybe equal to) that hot mess.

Chris Heston No-Hits the Mets

If you told me on June 9, 2015 that the Mets were headed to the World Series, I wouldn’t have believed you. The Mets faced the Giants, defending Series champions, at Citi Field that Tuesday, only to fall prey to 2015’s first no-hitter. To make matters worse, the pitcher, Chris Heston, was an infant—I mean, rookie—coming off a 2014 ERA of 5.06, and making his (lucky) 13th-ever outing with the Giants when he no-hit the Mets for a final score of 5-0. It doesn’t help that Heston has been a nonstarter since, having pitched a grand total of five innings for San Francisco in 2016, and two (very bad) innings for the Mariners this season. Sad trombone.

Making bad history in 2007

Well, I’m sure you remember this one. The Mets managed an historic collapse at the end of 2007, losing 12 of their last 17 games to blow their lead and their shot at the postseason. The season’s end was marred by a particularly nasty series against, you guessed it: the Nationals. Though the Nationals were not exactly contenders in their 4th place spot, the Mets still managed to lose five out of six games, allowing the Phillies (I hate the Phillies) to pull in alongside them in a tie for first place. Coincidently, the only other team who had collapsed so completely in a runup to the postseason was the Phillies, in their infamous 1964 “Phold.”

Alas, the Mets were committed to failure in 2007. In their final game of the season, the Mets lost 8-0 to the Marlins in a sad, sad, game featuring a Tom Glavine implosion (he gave up 7 runs in the first). Meanwhile, the Phillies beat the Nationals in their last game, and went on to win the NL East. Small comfort in that they were immediately swept by the Rockies, but the real burn here is Mets versus self, and all the hard work they threw away.

Luis Castillo Drops. The. Ball

Speaking of hated rivals: June 12, 2009—For once, the Mets had a lead on the Yankees (8-7). For once, a Mets closer (Francisco Rodriguez) was not about to blow said lead. With Derek Jeter on second and Mark Teixeira on first, Alex Rodriguez hit what should’ve been a game-ending pop-up to right field. Except Luis Castillo tried to catch it one-handed, promptly dropped it, then threw to second instead of home, where Teixeira was about to score the winning run. It always sucks to lose to the Yankees, but it sucks even more when the loss comes from a series of dumb mistakes by a player consistently not worth his $25 million-dollar contract.

1999 NLCS Game 6

And what stings more than losing to a big rival? Losing to a big rival in the postseason in extra innings! Coming to consciousness in the early 90s as a Mets fan meant the Mets were often quite bad, and the Braves were really good. I really hate the Braves. And it feels like they still hold some kind of power over them—despite not being a very good team, the Braves still beat the Mets twice last week.

The 1999 Mets, however, were good. And in the NLCS, they put up a good fight through a six game series. Game six itself got off to a rocky start, the Braves scoring 5 in the first inning, and maintaining a 7-3 lead through the 6th. But then—Mets magic! The Mets tied it up in the 7th with 4 runs. By the 8th it was 8-8; in the 10th it was 9-9. And in the 11th, in the Metsiest way possible, they lost with a walk. After Gerald Williams doubled, Mets pitcher Kenny Rogers intentionally walked Chipper Jones and Brian Jordan to load the bases, then unintentionally walked Andruw Jones, pushing Williams home for an(other) extra-innings postseason heartbreaker.  Final score, 10-9 Braves.

I’ll preemptively put my rally cap on now as they face off against the Braves again tonight.

2015 World Series—Game 5

The World Series! The Royals were leading the Series 3-1, but the Mets managed to stay in it and things were looking up. Granderson hit a home run in the first, a relatively ice-cold Daniel Murphy briefly managed to stop dropping the ball, and though the Mets had a missed opportunity in the sixth—scoring only one though they’d loaded the bases with no outs—the real star of the night was Matt Harvey, who pitched eight shutout innings. But when Harvey came back for the ninth, all hell broke loose. After walking Lorenzo Cain, Collins swapped him out for Jeurys Familia, who had what had come to be an all-too familiar postseason meltdown. Cain scored on an Eric Hosmer double; Hosmer tied the game after some iffy fielding by Lucas Duda, and Addison Reed showed up in extra innings to drive five nails into the coffin of our hopes and dreams, giving up five in the 12th for a final score of 7-2.

See? Sunday wasn’t that bad after all. Daniel Murphy didn’t even hit any home runs! Everything’s going to be fine. I’m not crying…you’re crying.

Photo credit: Geoff Burke – USA Today Sports

Photo credit:  Derik Hamilton – USA Today Sports

Growing up in Phillies territory, I was used to being the odd man out. I was more surprised to arrive in Boston for college and find a great deal of hatred leveled toward me and my Mets hat by people whom I’d considered to be allies in anti-Yankee solidarity, but who evidently couldn’t tell the difference between a Yankees’ and Mets’ logo. But when I finally made it to NYC, even here was sea of navy blue and white. It seemed my hat and I were destined to be an island, even on the island.

Then, 2015. The Yankees were terrible; the Mets were headed to the World Series; the Empire State Building was orange and blue for us. And now the guys on my corner wear Mets hats. Bright, new ones, with World Series insignia on the sides. On the subway, hipster dudes in Mets hats, also pristine. Whether at home in Brooklyn or in Manhattan for work I no longer go a day without running into somebody suited up in a jacket or cap. Usually, I still get excited to see the familiar logo and colors I’ve loved for so long. But then, I get annoyed.

It’s stupid, I know, to be bothered by fair-weather fandom. After all, baseball is a game; it’s supposed to be fun and the point of following a team has never been emotional suffering. And since baseball is also a business, I should want the Mets to fill seats, make money, and stick around—all made easier by a burgeoning popularity. And yet.

It feels a bit like that teen angst moment when your favorite indie band hits the radio. It’s partly exciting, partly a loss. Now you’re forced to share them with other people who know nothing about the members, the trajectory, maybe not even any of their other songs. (Idiots!) The sense of closeness you felt with the band (false sense though it may be) is diminished.

With the Mets, part of my annoyance at these new bandwagoners also stems from my perspective as a woman, and dealing with the ongoing doubt that a girl can really wrap her lady brains around the complexities of a sport. All my life I have been interrogated by men, usually strangers, who see me wearing a baseball cap and wish to administer tests to discern whether I’m a “real fan.” What was the middle name of the bullpen pitcher with the two different color eyes who was a Met for half a season ten years before you were born? Meanwhile, a guy who has little interest in the team or the sport picks up a Mets’ hat today for its “winning” aesthetic, and is accepted at face value.

The other part is a bias rooted in my own Mets-heartbreak-addled childhood. I fancy myself, and other loyal fans, as having obtained baseball enlightenment. I was not alive the last time the Mets won the World Series, and still I have loved an often bad team unconditionally. All our cultural mythology suggests that this kind of love, not predicated on fleeting things like performance, is “true”—real fairy tale shit. Sports fans, teams, and players, too, love a good myth. It’s why it’s easy to follow these threads to the conclusion that rooting for the underdog is part of the game, or at least a morally superior way to engage with it.

But this is, of course, mostly nonsense. If the point of a game is to determine a winner and loser team, viewers are naturally inclined to be drawn to the team that successfully completes the task at hand. And the Mets are obviously far from the only team to experience a fair-weather fandom. It will be interesting to see how Cubs’ fandom shifts in the wake of their championship win. Will the diehards feel less attached now that the impossible has been achieved? Perhaps the wave of new fans, arriving in the wake of a 108-year-old drought quenched, will take the places of those who had only known fandom as a kind of wistfulness. Then again, maybe—like the New Englanders and their Red Sox—fans will remain just as rabid, er, enthusiastic, post-win.

Meanwhile, a team like the Cincinnati Reds seems to experience a time-lapsed version of this fandom expansion and contraction each season. On opening day the city shuts down for a huge parade to celebrate the team. But by June, though entry into the Great American Ballpark is cheaper than a movie ticket, the stands are empty. Painful as it may be to watch Joey Votto go down looking that. many. times. … one can’t help but feel bad seeing such a team take such a marked nosedive in support.

To that end, I’m happy that the Mets are seeing a bit more of the love they deserve. (And I’m always happy to see less Yankees paraphernalia floating around.)  Maybe some of these new fans will grow to support them through thick and thin, too. If not, at least we don’t have to worry about the Mets “selling out” like our favorite bands of yore—the game will keep its rhythm no matter how many of us are cheering.

Photo Credit: Jasen Vinlove–USA TODAY Sports

My friend responded to my comment with incredulity—“really, they’re doing that?”—so, off the ‘book I texted him a screenshot of Spencer’s feed.

“Oh come on. That’s fake,” he responded. Spencer was cruel, but not dumb enough to put something like that out on the internet.

I pointed out that the account was verified, told my friend that I happened to be very good at discerning real from fake news, thank you very much, and since he knew me well he could’ve given me the benefit of that doubt.

Adding Spencer to the list, he repeated his original sentiment—he didn’t care about Spencer’s or Brady’s, or anybody’s politics; he just wanted to enjoy his football. I reminded him that not all of us have the privilege of being able to separate politics’ out from certain sectors of our lives.

“I get that you’re mad and scared and I’m a white male…” he said. The “but” was implied—I was overreacting. He felt like he was the only sane one in the house, he said.

He was right; I am scared. As a Deaf person and a woman in the face of an administration who seems eager to flout the Americans with Disabilities Act and aren’t totally solid in their knowledge of where babies come from, I am scared for myself—but as a New Yorker I am also scared for my friends and neighbors who will suffer under these and other violations of human rights based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, class, or myriad intersections thereof.

Since I know him to be a smart, well-read man, I thought my friend’s empathy on this front would be intact, too. I told him it was his job to be the sane one now, when he wasn’t in danger of anything changing for him, his duty to be compassionate, since he had the ability to choose when and how to engage with the political situation.

“No,” he said. “I don’t have new jobs. I don’t have new conditions because of an election in my country.”

That was the last time we talked. What else is there to say? He stands firm in the belief that there is no need–moral or otherwise–for him to speak out on my, or anyone else’s behalf, once the administration comes for our Constitutional rights, even though his body, his family, his home and health insurance are safe. He couldn’t even do it when confronted with momentary discomfort in the face of a football team he kind of liked. It was the latest concrete rendering of something I’d come to notice over the past few months: when people say to “keep politics out of sports,” they really only mean keep liberal politics out.

Whenever the MLB has made gestures toward inclusivity, like banning hazing, including rituals that force rookies to dress like women, there is an outcry against the “wussification” or liberal snowflake takeover of the organization. But the MLB’s repeatedly fraught handling of players with histories of domestic violence is continually taken in stride by many fans and franchises, ours included. Meanwhile, former players like Curt Schilling use baseball fame to gain political power and spew racist and misogynistic vitriol out into the ether.

My partner says doing so might have put Schilling’s place in the MLB Hall of Fame at risk. I say the future of the MLB may well depend on that decision.

As America’s self-designated pastime, it will be interesting to see how the MLB and its franchises proceed while the definition of “America” itself shifts under our feet. Professional sports in general present an interesting divide: while NBA and WNBA stars have taken to speaking out about causes like Black Lives Matter and the immigration ban, the NFL’s Colin Kaepernick is worried enough about the effect of his National Anthem protests on his prospects that he’s assured the NFL he’ll give it up in 2017.

With respect to which way baseball will go, the answer lies in large part with the players. The Trump administration has raised the stakes beyond questions of offending fans with words or rituals; players themselves may well find themselves having to contend with negative racial stereotypes propagated via GOP immigration policy, including the proposed establishment of an office to track crimes committed by immigrants, and the ever-looming promise of “the wall.” And while of course a country has a right to secure borders, and foreign-born MLB players are surely all documented immigrants, moments in which American citizens like Muhammad Ali Jr. are repeatedly detained for the sound of their names show a blurring of lines between enforcement of the law and sweeping ethnic/racial hatreds. As of 2015, the MLB’s opening day rosters were made up of 29.3 percent Hispanic players. Will they feel galvanized by the uptick in hatred levied at their identity? Will they feel safe enough to speak out against it? I suspect we are about to find out.

In our social media age, it may seem like the mixing of sports and politics is a new conundrum, but really the questions are as old as the organizations themselves (older). And though progressives take the all the heat for bringing questions of “diversity” and “tolerance” to the mainstream, those roots go much deeper—after all, what are white supremacy and racism if not extreme forms of identity politics? As bigotry gets a mainstream platform, the MLB can’t rest on its #42 laurels. Color lines are alive and well, and so is the question of which side of history the sport will fall.

There is one striking difference between then and now, though—never has a U.S. President been more desperate to garner the approval of the “cool kids.” We know Trump is a sports fan, and that criticism from TV personalities, movie stars, musicians and sports players rankles him to an unprecedented degree. All it takes is a 3:00am tweet to catch his attention, so America’s favorite pastime could well impact its future, after all, if we let it.

Photo Credit: Anthony Gruppuso–USA TODAY Sports

I was fascinated by the event, if in large part because I thought I could squeeze a later bedtime out of the chaos. When it was all over with, I had two teams to root for: the Mets, and my Dad and uncle’s team, the Gas-House Gorillas. At the time, the Mets were so bad it was nice to have the distraction.

As I got older I didn’t think much about playing fantasy baseball myself, until last year, when I found my partner’s abandoned team before me on the coffee table. He had been in a league with friends from college, but had forgotten about it and had been served up an auto-draft of former greats, the power-hitters that were, a roster centered around Jose Bautista and his fateful bruised toe.

“What are you DOING with this team?” I said, now shamelessly scrolling through his laptop. My partner, a sports-lover and normally very competitive, just shrugged.

“Fantasy baseball’s too much work. You can have it if you want.”

And so I came to manage my first very own fake baseball team. I overhauled the roster, dropping the old guys, and picking through league leftovers for anyone useable. But all the while I felt my loyalty to the Mets at odds with an objective standard for the team. I could feel myself favoring Mets players, and I struggled to play pitchers against the Mets, even when I knew they were probably going to crush them (the single benefit of the auto-draft had been Madison Bumgarner). Baseball had always been blissfully uncomplex for me—that was part of its charm—Mets or nothing. The fantasy league opened up a whole new realm of possibilities; sometimes, it kind of felt like cheating.

Happily, if you too are a Mets loyalist with a lot of feelings, there are some particularly good Queens-based fantasy options this year.

The first being the obvious: Noah Syndergaard. ESPN has Thor as their No. 25 overall pick, while Baseball Prospectus projects a performance similar to last year’s with 218 strikeouts and 12 wins (holding steady with his 2016 performance of 218 strikeouts and 14 wins). Several fantasy pundits have him even higher in the ranks: Bobby Sylvester of FantasyPros at No. 12, John Halpin of Fox Sports at No. 15, and Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Sports at No. 16. Our own BPer Greg Wellemeyer has Syndergaard in the number three slot for starting pitchers across a three-year projection; keeper leagues, take note. It’ll be tough to get your hands on Syndergaard—his value is evident to any baseball enthusiast—but it looks like he’ll be worth it this season and beyond.

Yoenis Cespedes’s strikeout rate of 19.9 percent in 2016 might give him a fluctuating value depending on league rules; however, his power is undeniable, and as such he continues to rank well on fantasy lists. ESPN puts him in slot 46 overall, and Wellemeyer ranks him No. 14 for outfielders. BP 2017 projections suggest Cespedes will get slightly more playing time this year and average around .261. Since he can be streaky, fantasy owners will want to keep a close eye on Cespedes’ day-to-day. Then again, what better reason to have him on your team as a Mets fan—you’ll be watching him anyway.

Jacob deGrom and Jeurys Familia also make appearances on ESPN’s list, at Nos. 62 and 112, respectively. Surgery on deGrom’s ulnar nerve is certainly a concern, so he’s one to watch closely in spring training. But Wellemeyer puts him at No. 20 amongst starting pitchers, suggesting that his outlook over the next few years is bright. BP projections put him at 12-10 with a 3.50 ERA for a slightly weaker performance than last season. For me Familia is one to avoid, given questions of whether he’ll be suspended as a result of domestic violence charges, and also how much he loves blowing a lead. (Sounds like setting yourself up for double heartbreak if you ask me.) That said, if he does get suspended at the start of the season, he might be available to pick-up amongst a pool of lesser players.

Now here’s where ESPN, for me, goes off the board—Matt Harvey at No. 125. I had Matt Harvey on my team last year, and it was dually unpleasant to watch him self-destruct in the fourth inning. Now, the man has had his rib removed. I also want Matt Harvey to be good again. But I am certainly not about to run out and pick him up in fantasyland. If you want to take a risk on a formerly injured starter, I’d go with Steven Matz or Zack Wheeler. Matz is reportedly “feeling great” in Port St. Lucie; Wheeler is throwing off the mound, and both of them have all their bones in their body! For the Mets’ sake, here’s hoping the Dark Knight proves me wrong.

Finally, there’s Michael Conforto. The man has power. Unfortunately, picking up Conforto is less about whether he can hit and more about whether Terry Collins will let him. The 24-year-old spent most of 2016 on a plane, but managed a respectable .220/.310/.414 when he was in Queens, and slashed .422/.483/.727 in Las Vegas. Wellemeyer has Conforto at No. 42 for outfielders, and BP projects a 2017 average of .260, but I can’t help but get a little starry-eyed when I see that .727. If Collins actually plays Conforto, and plays him right (e.g. stops putting him up against lefties), I think he could be a real fantasy asset, or at least a bit of a real-world antidote to the existence of Jay Bruce.

(Editor’s Note: Conforto’s early spring dingers could see him rising up draft boards!)

No doubt many of you are seasoned fantasy managers who’ve learned to remove the personal from the business of drafting. And I’m a sentimentalist, certainly. This is without a doubt how I ended up with Bartolo Colon on my fantasy team last year. But I do think there can be advantage to choosing players you watch most closely, the team dynamics with which you’re most familiar. As it turned out, Colon was a remarkably stable workhorse of a pitcher where very talented and younger men floundered. If only I had gotten the points for his home run …

Photo Credit: Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Chasen Bradford: Bradford, like the majority of invitees, is a pitcher whose presence suggests the Mets are looking to bulk up the bullpen. Originally drafted in 2011, Bradford has been with the 51s since 2015. Though his ERA spiked to 4.80 in 2016, his career overall of 3.42 is stronger, and he’s shown time and again that he can handle the pressure, earning five of six saves in 2016, and 36 of a possible 48 across his career thus far.

Xorge Carrillo: The only non-roster catcher to attend spring training, Carrillo was also a 2011 Mets’ draft pick. He began in Brooklyn, and spent 2016 in Binghamton and Las Vegas, where he batted .333 and .269, respectively, slashing .257/.328/.354 over his career.

P.J. Conlon: A 23-year-old Northern Ireland-native, Conlon is an intriguing prospect beyond his heritage. The lefty was the Mets’ 13th-round draft pick in 2015, and has already played with the Cyclones, St. Lucie Mets, and Columbia Fireflies. At 5’11,” Conlon is the shortest of the pitching invitees, but so far his performance suggests he’ll be a force to be reckoned with: he’s gone 12-3 with one save and an ERA of 1.47 across 41 games.

Phillip Evans: A 24-year-old infielder, Evans was drafted out of high school in 2011, and had his best season yet in 2016 split between Binghamton and St. Lucie, slashing .321/.366/.460 with eight of his 19 career home runs. Over his five-year career, Evans has hit .255/.318/.344.

Luis Guillorme*: A 10th-round draft pick in 2013, the infielder started in the Gulf Coast League and spent 2016 with the St. Lucie Mets, where he hit his first professional home run. Guillorme hit .285/.355/.326 across his career, with 34 stolen bases.

( * – Editor’s Note: Please email Jeff Paternostro with any and all questions about Guillorme.)

Kevin McGowan: The tallest invitee on the list, 25-year-old McGowan fits neatly between other leggy pitchers Syndergaard (6’6″) and deGrom (6’4″) at 6’5”.  A 13th-round draft pick in 2013, the righty spent 2016 moving between Las Vegas, Binghamton and St. Lucie, going 5-1 with two saves and an ERA of 2.35, the best of his career so far.

David Roseboom: This lefty was a 2014 draft pick and spent 2016 in Binghamton, where he managed 14 saves (in 15 opportunities) with an ERA of 1.87 across 52 games. Over his career, he’s gone 5-3 with 26 saves and an ERA of 2.26.

Ben Rowen: Originally a 2010 Texas draft pick, the 28-year-old made his major-league debut in 2014, in an eight-game run with the Rangers. He was called up for four games by the Milwaukee Brewers in 2016. Though both his stints in the majors have been middling (and short), his minor-league stats are impressive: 25-10 with 43 saves and an ERA of 1.85. Here’s hoping a spring training invite allows Rowen time to shake loose the nerves and show the majors some of his good stuff.

Paul Sewald: This righty pitcher was a 10th-round draft pick for the Mets in 2010, and spent 2016 in Las Vegas, where he went 5-3 with 19 saves and an ERA of 3.29. Over his time with Mets affiliates, he’s gone 16-8 with 66 saves and an ERA of 2.20.

Dominic Smith: Smith is the youngest of this year’s invitees—he’ll be 21 upon his arrival in Port St. Lucie. The infielder was drafted from his California high school by the Mets in 2013, their first round pick, and just finished off a great season in Binghamton, where he hit .302/.367/.457 with 14 home runs. I’ll be excited to see how this slugger holds up when he faces off against some major-league arms.

Champ Stuart: With a name like “Champ,” he’s gotta be good! Also an early draft pick from 2013 (the Mets’ sixth-round choice), this outfielder—given name “Jervis”—split time between Binghamton and the St. Lucie Mets in 2016. He hit .240/.314/.349 with eight home runs across the two teams, and he’s lightning fast; he’s managed 40 stolen bases in 114 games.

Corey Taylor: This 24-year-old righty pitcher was a seventh-round draft pick in 2015, and has done well in his time with the Cyclones and St. Lucie Mets. Over his two-year, 63-game career, he’s gone 5-6 with an ERA of 1.77 and 20 saves.

Logan Taylor: No relation to the aforementioned Taylor above, this 25-year-old, also a right-handed pitcher, was drafted by the Mets in 2012. He went 4-2 in Binghamton in 2016 and has a career ERA of 3.26 across 99 games.

Travis Taijeron: A 2011 draft pick for the Mets, this left fielder has spent the past two years in Las Vegas, where he hit 25 home runs in 2015, and 19 in 2016, batting slightly above his career average of .269/.370/.512. This slugger’s got power, and 110 career MiLB home runs to prove it; fingers crossed his swing is just as deadly in the big leagues.

Adam Wilk: At 29, Wilk is the oldest invitee on the list. (And yet still slightly younger than I am. Sigh.). Perhaps unsurprisingly, then, he’s already got his feet wet in the majors—he had runs in 2011 and 2012 with the Tigers, and two innings with the Angels in 2015. 2016 was not his best year—he went 2-8 with the Triple-A Durham Bulls, but I’ll indulge the Mets pitching staff here in the hope he can combine the mojo from his earlier days with his major-league experience and put his best arm forward for 2017. Wilk has a career ERA 3.59 across 153 games.

Photo Credit: Reinhold Matay-USA Today Sports

(Limited-release items are marked with an asterisk.)

April 3 – 2017 Magnetic Schedule

It’s a schedule! It’s a magnet! It gives you valuable information while simultaneously keeping hold of all your expired coupons! Who cares—it’s the Mets’ home opener (against the Braves) and that’s enticing enough.

April 7 – “There’s No Place Like Home” Shirt

Citi Field gets a little chilly at night even at peak summer–especially in the 500s–so I’m sure fans at this April night game will appreciate the first of the free-shirt Friday giveaways coming with long sleeves. Of course, free shirt Friday shirts are all XL, which means the gals like me can only use them as a mini-dress or, say, a bedsheet. But hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

April 8 – Fireworks

Sure, you don’t get to put the fireworks in your pocket and take them home with you … but the memories. The way your kiddies’ and wives’ eyes light up at the sight—priceless! Seriously, though, who doesn’t love fireworks out over the bay?

April 9 – Rally Towels

Yeah, I know; the rally towel was invented just to get fans to shut up—to wave that towel rather than clap or bang on stuff. But did I save the towel I got at the 2015 NLCS game against the Cubs? Most definitely.

April 21 – Jose Reyes T-shirt

Dammit, I bought tickets to this game, and all I’ll get is the face of an alleged perpetrator of domestic violence—not really a mini-dress I want in my collection. But it’s the first of a series of free shirt Fridays that feature one specific player, and interesting turn from last year’s more collective designs.

April 22 – Matt Harvey Garden Gnome*

The Harvey gnome is the first of the promos not guaranteed to all fans—you must be one of the first 15,000 to arrive (Citi Field has a capacity of 41,922) to snag one. Gnome hopefuls will have to put their faith in the 7 express train, while the release of the Harvey promo in April suggests the organization’s has faith in Harvey being out on the mound (and not terrible) relatively early in the season.  

April 23 – Mets Tote Bag

Tote bags are great baseball game bags, because they’re super easy for one guard to open and search while you’re being groped by the other guard in order to gain entry to the park. Now all fans can submit to future security-based humiliation in style by sporting this Mets-themed tote.

May 5 – Thor T-shirt

Now here’s a player-specific shirt to get excited about. Thor’s long, flowing locks would look great on a mini-dress! He’s also one of the only starters on the roster not to have been compromised in 2015. Hopefully he can lead the charge as the rest of the crew staff finishes healing up.

May 6 – Noah Syndergaard Hair Hat*

Speaking of long flowing locks, the first 15,000 fans can get their own set on this Saturday night game against Miami. The Marlins made a surprisingly good run at the start of last year, proving their young bats had power, so some Thor might be in order to keep them quiet.

May 7 – Mets Batting Gloves*

What will us mere mortals do with batting gloves? Can we use them as winter gloves? Can we hold onto them without losing one until winter? (Or at least, until we get off the subway?) The first 15,000 fans to the game will have to keep us posted. 

May 19 – “Up the Middle” Asdrubal Cabrera and Neil Walker T-Shirt

I have to admit, when looking at the graphic for this t-shirt I thought, who is that guy? … Oh! It’s Neil Walker! I hope Neil Walker’s not broken this year. We are going to need his bat to back up Cespedes, especially if we end up stuck with a nonstarter like Bruce.

May 20 – David Wright Starting Lineup Figurine*

I have no idea how a figurine might indicate its place in the order*, but what can we do besides appeal to the baseball gods that we might see David Wright in the actual starting lineup in May, and not just in plastic form. At least 15,000 people will have the pleasure of a starting Wright in their cubicles forevermore. 

(* – Editor’s Note: Us oldies remember Starting Lineup figures.)

May 21 – Sunglasses*

Will they be orange? Will they be blue? Will they be orange and blue? 15,000 of us are about to find out. (The other 26, 922, blinded by day-game sun cresting the sky, won’t be able to tell!)

June 2 – Jacob deGrom T-shirt

The last we heard from deGrom was in early December, when his ability to snap without pain returned, a sign he said meant his post-surgery elbow and ulnar nerve were back to normal. deGrom is expected to resume regular spring training when the team reports to Port St. Lucie on February 12. Hopefully by June he’ll be in full ace force, and we can wear him in good health.

June 3 – Fireworks!

How much do you think Fireworks Night increases the percentage of marriage proposals at baseball games? Asking for a friend. Really though, what says romance better than beating the Pirates and then blowing stuff up?

June 4 – Bat and Ball Set*

I always feel a little wary of the giveaways that arm 15,000 fans with weapons and release them out onto the MTA, but that’s what’s happening at this final matchup in the run vs. Pittsburgh. At least it’s a day game? 

June 16 – Tie-dye Mets Logo T-shirt

For the subtle hippie in your life, this white tee features a multi-colored Mets “M,” perfect to immediately drip mustard upon after receipt. As a bonus, consider the rainbow logo a quiet troll upon Daniel Murphy as the Mets meet the Nationals in their third of four 2017 series. 

June 17 – TBD

Mystery! Intrigue! What amazing free thing will you get? No one knows—not even the Mets!

June 18 – Father’s Day Cap*

Snag some tickets for this Sunday game and Father’s day is a lock. You both get to watch baseball, drink beer, and, just like my Christmas scheme, the free hat feels like an extra gift you get credit for! #FathersDayHero

June 30 – Yoenis Cespedes T-shirt

I’m surprised that we made it to nearly July without any Cespedes promo, but there’s a lot to come, and this clever t-shirt design is one of my favorite of the season. Here’s to lots of big hits by Yo, especially in this game against those blasted Phillies.

July 1 – Asdrubal Cabrera Bobblehead*

Are bobbleheads going out of style? I feel like there used to be more of these floating around, but alas, Cabrera bobbles alone thus far, and only to the first 15,000 fans. If you need more creepy, big-headed junk in your life, queue up early! 

July 2 – Batting Helmet*

It’s just like getting a free hat, except you can’t actually wear it anywhere outside the stadium. On the plus side, maybe we could use it to butt heads with Phillies fans in this series closer. 

July 14 – New York T-shirt

It’s got some vague skyscrapers on it, and it says New York! Where and why, who knows? Maybe one’s the Citibank building or something … ?

July 15 – Fireworks

Just in case you didn’t get your Fourth of July fill. 

July 16 – Minibat*

When I have writer’s block, I like to fiddle with my baseball glove. My dad—a programmer—plays with a minibat. There’s really no other use for it, but 15,000 people are about to get one either way.

July 21 – Let’s Go Mets T-shirt

I like the look of this black t-shirt—it’s classy, and might even fool a few people into thinking it’s something you paid money for. That is, if you weren’t swimming in it.

July 22 – TBD

What free thing will you jostle a stranger in line for? Will the A’s ever be good again? These questions and more to be answered on this Saturday night!

July 23 – Yoenis Cespedes Compression Sleeve*

Truth be told, I’ve never worn a compression sleeve, neon or otherwise, but a cursory Googling reveals that the things do in fact come in sizes, so I imagine this freebie will not be useful at all to the majority of fans (can I get a kid’s size?). Then again, I also don’t have huge arm muscles or hit a lot of home runs, so it probably wasn’t going to get a lot of use even if it did fit.

August 4 – Replica Jersey

Is it a t-shirt made to look like a jersey, or a replica of someone’s jersey? Hard to say from the illustration on the Mets’ website, though I’m guessing the former—kind of like the Cespedes shirt back in June, only blue. Either way, it’ll make a fine mini-dress. 

August 5 – Bucket Hat*

If ever there were a limited promotion not worth getting to the park early for, it’s this guy. Bucket hats have literally not been cool since last century, and as far as I’m concerned 15,000 are 15,000 too many.

August 6 – Topps Commemorative Baseball Packs

Baseball card packs, I assume, in which case, yay! I spent a big part of my childhood collecting and meticulously logging my baseball cards, and to open up a new pack still gives me a thrill. Plus, everybody in the stadium gets some—trading party!

August 18 – Mets Double Logo Shirt

Free shirt Friday again falls on a game versus the Marlins. This design kind of reminds me of those Magic Eye* books that were supposed to make things look 3-D but I could never get to work. I’m pretty sure everyone was just lying about seeing the thing, right?

( * – Editor’s Note: It’s a sailboat.)

August 19 – Yoenis Cespedes Bobblehead*

Oh hey, here’s another one—so bobbleheads aren’t actually passé! Whew. The third and final Cespedes promo goes out to 15,000 fans on Saturday night. The compression sleeve looks way better on him. 

August 20 – Toy Truck*

Not sure what this truck will look like, or what a truck has to do with baseball at all, but it’s a Sunday afternoon game, and I’m sure the kiddies in the audience will appreciate a new toy. 15,000 of them, at least.

September 8 – Let’s Go Mets T-Shirt

Wait, didn’t we already get a Let’s Go Mets t-shirt? Yes, yes we did. But this one’s bluer. And in a different font. And instead of the A’s, they’re playing the Reds. Yeah, you’re right, this does sound kind of the same. On the bright side, maybe Bruce will be inspired to hit a bunch of home runs against his former teammates?

September 9 – TBD

What kind of shape will the Fab Five be in by September? Will David Wright have turned to stone? Will Walker still be a thing? Who will still be standing and will it be enough to make the Mets contenders? TBD. 

September 10 – Player Fathead*

My dad has a Bartolo Fathead that he hides around the house to terrorize my mother. Once he left it on the mantle and even scared himself. Sadly, the Bartolo (in Mets gear, at least) Fathead is now a relic, but never fear: I’m sure a Thor or Cespedes popping up in the bathroom mirror will be just as terrifying. Mothers everywhere rejoice that they’re only giving out 15,000 of these things. 

September 22 – NY Mets Est. 1962 Shirt

It’s the year’s only gray shirt … like the hair color of those who will most appreciate this nostalgia-heavy design. But it’s a free thing for everyone on the opening night of the Mets’ final run against those Nationals, which, with any luck will be a close game with the playoffs at stake and a packed house. 

September 23 – Fireworks

May they be in celebration of Daniel Murphy dropping the ball a lot. 

September 24 – Magnetic 2018 Schedule

It’s the circle of life, Simba. We begin with a magnet; we end with a magnet. And of course the wish that we’ll get the greatest gift of all again this year—October baseball.

Photo Credit: Derik Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports

Now, dear reader, this is nothing new; I’ve been called all manner of names by the baseball internet before, for “thinkpieces,” as well as historical overviews, draft picks, and purely statistic-based claims. The hardest lesson I’ve learned as a writer/human is that it doesn’t actually matter what the opinion is, it mattes that a woman is having it. (Case in point—the idea that perpetrators of domestic violence and their enablers might not make the best role models should not be a controversial thesis, no math necessary.) Nevertheless, having woken up this morning still a Mets fan and still in possession of a uterus (curses!), I’m going to double down. Presenting: a lady thinkpiece about the MLB’s ban on hazing rookies by dressing them as women.

To be honest, I didn’t really care about players’ propensity to put rookies in dresses, which is to say I hadn’t thought about it all that much. I, too, had internalized the arguments for leaving them be—it’s funny and all in good fun; it occurred outside of game time and therefore (until recently) out of the public eye.

But then I woke up Tuesday morning to a Twitter feed full of (straight white) dudes ranting about the liberal wussification of the sport. In reading their arguments, I realized the reasons for keeping a tradition were mainly misogyny and fear of change couched in the rhetoric of fun and freedom. Consequently, they’re very easy to take down.

So why is a man dressing up as a woman funny in some cases, and offensive in others? Context. Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire—universally beloved. Nathan Lane as Mother Coleman in The Birdcage—hysterical. These instances of drag are imbedded in a narrative and the characters have morally upstanding motiviations for their actions: Williams’ character, an inherently good (if messy) guy, is overwhelmed by love for his children despite a difficult ex and justice system. Lane’s character must subvert gender roles and homophobia so that his son can marry the love of his life. Good reasons. Even more importantly, the characters act with agency—they make conscious choices rather than being forced into action by their groupthink superiors.

Baseball rookies, on the other hand, are dressed up as women as part of hazing rituals. In their new labor deal last Tuesday, the MLB introduced the revamped Anti-Hazing/Bullying policy and the players’ association let it pass—from this mutual agreement we can deduce that both sides consider “hazing” a correct description of the activities at hand. And here’s where it gets tricky:

hazing (ˈhāziNG/) noun, verb: to haze

1. the imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation.
2. humiliating and sometimes dangerous initiation rituals, especially as imposed on college students seeking membership to a fraternity or sorority.

The use of the word “imposition/imposed” in both definitions suggests a lack of agency on the part of the rookies. And both definitions also cite “humiliation” as a main goal of hazing. Which begs the question—why is being put in a dress humiliating?

Is it because women are the lesser gender—weaker, submissive? Or is it more a matter of drag’s ties to the LGBTQ community? To be clear, the imposing players themselves don’t have to be actively misogynistic or homophobic (though of course we’ve seen outright cases of both on our own team) to uphold centuries’ old power hierarchies and discriminatory systems of thinking. If being forcibly dressed as a woman is super humiliating, a way to “take a man down a peg,” then it follows that actually being a woman (or effeminate, or in drag, or trans) is humiliating, or inferior to the man dressed in his regular clothes.

Baseball has long had an inclusivity problem—with its dwindling popularity in African-American communities, with its traditions misogyny and lukewarm punishments for domestic violence, with homophobia amongst its players and on the jumbotron, etc. And today’s social media age means there’s no such thing as being a jerk only in private. With respect to the new ban, the MLB cited photos of players dressed as women surfacing on the internet as one of their causes for concern. And rightly so. Slowly they’re learning that if baseball is going to continue to exist, the organization needs to welcome as big and diverse an audience as possible. (So if you’re not much for feminism or ethics—think of the money!) The old generation and its boys’ club proclivities cannot live forever—it’s already shrinking. And given that according to MLB vice president Paul Mifsud, “a number of players have complained about the [hazing],” it appears these attitudes are changing amongst players themselves, too.

Change is hard; change can be sad—we humans are creatures of habit and pattern and tradition, and that’s part of what makes us sports fans in the first place. But change is necessary both on the moral level and for baseball’s bottom line. The internet has forced us to look at what has always been bad, but was just easier to ignore. The hate mail I’ll get for writing this article is proof of that.

Photo Credit: Peter G. Aiken-USA Today Sports